


Draco is the Diet Coke of Evil

by Jassanja



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Gen, crack!character bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-19
Updated: 2009-11-19
Packaged: 2017-10-03 09:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jassanja/pseuds/Jassanja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written in 2003, after watching too much Austin Powers, edited for posting on the AO3</p>
    </blockquote>





	Draco is the Diet Coke of Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2003, after watching too much Austin Powers, edited for posting on the AO3

Draco sits in front of Jerry Springer.  
"So your Dad and his evil Over Lord are plotting to rule the Word?"  
"Yes, and they won't let me join the Death Eaters!"  
"Let us ask Lucius why he doesn't want let his son rule the world with his Lord.   
Welcome Lucius Malfoy"  
"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" goes the crowd  
"Why don't you want Draco become a Death Eater?"  
"Well, Jerry, he's not evil enough! He's the Diet Coke of evil, and therefore he can't serve our Dark Lord.  
You must understand Draco, I love you, but I don't want to be ashamed because of you. Imagine what the others would say, if I asked for your initiation!   
Avery would laugh his ass of, and even Crabbe and Goyle would think that I'm out of my mind, if my semi-evil son became a Death Eater. The Lestranges would never again talk to me, and I could not stand it if Severus would watch me with one of his mockingly smirks"  
"But Professor Snape told me, that he liked me!"  
"Sorry, but he lied to you. He just told you so, to kiss my ass! But he don't need to do that any longer, since we both agree, that even Wormtail is more evil then you"  
Tears are running down Draco's face.  
"So I can't have a Dark Mark for my birthday?"  
"No, you can't"  
From the crowd Dumbledore rises, and comes to give Draco a hug.  
"But you can have a Lemon Drop"


End file.
